Today brings us “Lucky 7” which appears to have starred Patrick Dempsey before he made his comeback as gross McDreamy. The guide promises “According to her mother, a lawyer’s 7th boyfriend will be the man of her dreams.” I am so glad that my mother has never pretended to be psychic (that I can remember, pretending to be psychic sounds like something she might do though… hmmm).
You’re going to notice something different though and that’s because it’s also my very first recap on my NEW TV! Whoa, this will be like an ad for a Samsung smartv. Catch the wavvvveeee of the future.
The movie opens with a little girl painting and her dad calling her his little Picasso. Oh! Special guest star “Gail O’Grady”! who starred in an earlier recap. And she plays the mom… who appears to be terminally ill. So she will be in approximately one scene of this movie, which is quite special. The mom starts writing out things for the daughter to do like “at 9, make sure your dad lets you go to sleepaway camp” etc… She also decides that her daughter should have her first boyfriend at 16 and he should be great (no pressure!). She is very clear that this 7 year old is not to marry the first boyfriend. I hope this 7 year old is letting this sink in and taking it to heart like I know most 7 year olds do.
She then asks the SEVEN YEAR OLD if she wants to be a doctor or a lawyer, having no idea what a lawyer does, the girl picks that and law school is added to the timeline. So is “Europe” so she can have a swarthy European lover (ick) that she is also not to marry. She is supposed to marry the 7th guy she dates and that guy should have hands like her dad’s (double ick).
Seemingly the next day, her dad comes in and tells her that her mom died. She looks at the timeline with sadness. Cut to! Amy cleaning out her trunk and looking at her law degree and some beret that says Pierre (seriously). We can see that she is right on track and keeps mementos from her men.
She then, becomes taken by insanity, and pulls out the timeline that her deceased mother made and scratches something out violently. WHAT?! Don’t write on that. Don’t worry, when we see the timeline next, nothing has been touched so there is a continuity issue here. Or maybe the production realized that treating the thing her mother left her like that was awful and rethought it.
Her dad raises a glass to her breaking up with some jerk named Leo, who cheated on her. She claims the relationship was productive, mainly because it has kept her on her mother’s plan. She actually says “you can’t deny that every single thing mom told me to do was the right thing.” Dad just sits there, contemplating how bald he has become.
Amy has a blind date at a tennis club and some guy walks in who isn’t him but who she wishes was him so she hopefully goes up to him. It’s not him but he flashes his smile and walks away while she’s bummed.
Now she’s at some bakery and Patrick Dempsey is a baker who lets her cut the line. When she sees him she makes the most insane face that I think is supposed to be friendly. Yikes!
Wait for it…
He asks where her boyfriend is and she says they won’t be seeing him anymore (he cheated on her with his ex wife, apparently). He takes this as an intro to asking her to accompany him to an out of town wedding. She is so flummoxed that she frantically tries to tell him other people to go out with instead and he’s clearly offended. She can’t get out of there fast enough.
On her way out she runs into the guy from the tennis club and gets all crazy-faced (her general face look) and can’t stop talking to him and goes in with him to order his coffee and bagel- she wasn’t asked along, she just shoved in because she is very annoying.
God, she is an asshole. She just ran away from Patrick Dempsey/Peter and now she’s back at the counter swooning over some stranger. Peter is so pissed but she doesn’t get it at all.
Outside the blond guy gets her number in his super space-age cell phone and she’s all “ew, do you like those things??” because it’s 2003. 2003 is the year I gave in and got a cell phone, begrudgingly, and hated the shit out of it. I was the last of my friends to give in and finally had to do it since I freelance. Now I feel lost without my phone. (While I was uploading these photos there was a Law and Order on from the same time period when Lenny Briscoe gets a cell phone and refuses to give the number out because he doesn’t want it to ring. Memmorieeeees.)
Her job appears to be walking around a law firm, acknowledging people slightly with her eyes. She runs home to her dad’s to make dinner but says she’s so busy at work that she has to go back.
This is the biggest opportunity of her career! Yes, sort of waving at people is hard work. She also tells her dad about the blond guy and he tells her to chill. (does she live with her dad? she at least lives very close by)
Amy is telling her friends how they exchanged numbers last week and he never called. They chase her around the apartment and take her phone and dial his number, making her just man up and talk to him.
He offers up like 4 days to meet-up and she turns them all down because she is so great and likable. One she turns down because it’s laundry night. Not kidding! Finally they settle on the following Saturday.
Suddenly it’s next Saturday. They’re on a date in Chinatown but I have no idea what town this is supposed to be.
I feel like she’s acting the way she thinks a “fun” and “quirky” person acts but in reality she is acting like a crazy person with a crazy face. I may even go so far as to say that this movie could be a lot more likable and heartfelt if someone else had directed it.
Of course this guy just loves it because it’s in the script. He kisses her in front of some chinatown fireworks. She is super happy and then a look of panic comes onto her face. She runs away (so quirky!). He chases her and she says that she’s not over her ex. Is she panicking because this doesn’t fit in with her mom’s plan?
Amy is telling her friends that this is HORRRRRIBLE! He’s the one! She knows this after just three hours. And meeting a great guy is so awful. Poor her. Her friends do not get why this is bad news. She says it’s the wrong time and they finally get it- she is obsessing over her mom’s timeline.
Ahhh, her mom said there would be fireworks when she meets the one (I’m sure she did not mean literally) and since there were fireworks he MUST be the one.
Her friends think she’s insane and that she doesn’t even like being a lawyer but became one because her mom said so. She thinks she should get a 6th boyfriend, briefly, and then dump him for blond Daniel. They point out that he could just get a girlfriend but she’s an idiot and is all “he won’t do that.” Okay. One tells her that she risks losing him by doing this. She is all “IMPOSSIBLE!” because she clearly doesn’t understand people or relationships at all. Or she just thinks she’s that effing great that amazing guys will wait around for her to finish up her hijinx.
She in fact argues that her mom would tell her to date one more person before settling down. Good lord, I wish her mom’s ghost would appear right now and tell her to stop being wackadoo.
Of course perfect Daniel sends her roses with a note that he would love to see her soon. This distresses her because she is bi-polar.
In a fit she remembers the bagel guy’s crush on her and she decides to be a total dick and take advantage of that.
She is frantically painting the world’s ugliest plate at some pottery place when Daniel walks in. Yeah, painting is definitely this girl’s true calling.
She’s clearly been avoiding him but decides that dinner with him tonight is just the ticket. Okay… why all the hub-ub if she’s just going to keep seeing him anyway?
She tells him about the bagel guy and he’s all “no big deal” because he truly is perfect. They start making out and she freaks out again which only makes him like her more (GOD, I HATE SHIT LIKE THIS IN MOVIES).
She makes more crazy faces and he’s all “you want to wait until we get tested?” and she agrees even though she really wants to wait until she has banged the bagel guy and broken his heart.
Ummmm, the next scene she has taken him to dinner with her dad on Friday. So he’s meeting her dad but they’re not a couple??? In fact, they have been on two dates.Her dad may be shooting him the bedroom eyes in this scene.
She can’t wait to find out what her dad thinks of this guy she’s not dating. Her dad is all “never have I met a boyfriend of yours that I’ve liked this much” and she’s all “ack, he’s not my boyfriend” because she can’t make up her mind. Her dad tells her as much.
The next day Peter the bagel man picks her up to go to some made up island when they run into her dad. Her dad looks horrified.
Peter is all “it’s not a date, I barely know her, don’t worry” but this only makes her dad more horrified. She admits to her dad that she wants to make Peter 6 so Daniel can be 7 and she can live her life exactly as her mother wanted. Her dad tells her she is cray cray.
She is all “you’re the one who hasn’t dated since she died, BACK OFF!” Maybe you’re both a little cray cray.
She sleeps the whole way to the island because she is a terrible date and can barely even pretend to be interested in this guy. He drops the bomb that he told people at the wedding that she is his girlfriend and they negotiate some room terms but she is fine with it (because her wheels are turning and she sees that if he calls her his girlfriend that will fulfill her cray cray brain worms and she can be free of her mom’s numbers).
She then starts harping on him and asking if he’s gay. What a fun, quirky girl! Not gay, just going to a wedding that his ex will be at and doesn’t want to be alone. Awww, poor Peter.
She wants to learn more about him since they’re a couple now. He says he went to Brown and she’s such an asshole that she replies “and you work in a bagel shop??” Yuck.
They immediately run into the ex and her man and it’s awkward. The ex points out that it’s awkward. She is all “so, do you work at the bagel shop too?” When a friend says that she’s a lawyer she turns her evil sideways and says “you must never see each other, I know how much young lawyers work.” How transparent.
In their room he says that she was right and that they should play it up like they’re super in love ( because he actually is ). She is all excited because there are chocolate covered strawberries. It turns out Daniel had sent to the room. Peter is sad while she calls him to thank him but don’t worry, she doesn’t notice.
There is some porny croquet lesson going on on the lawn. Is this how an in love couple acts? Gross.
They split up for his and hers games and are both grilled on their relationship. She tells a much dirtier and weirder story than the lame story he tells. People will surely be onto their lies soon, right? She does say that he has the kind of charm that sneaks up on you. That is sweet and somewhat believable.
She finds out that he quit working at Bear-Stearns and the ex dumped him because he now made less money. Yowzer. This just makes me feel worse and worse for this guy knowing that she’s using him.
They go kayaking and it’s pretty gray and choppy and not as fun looking as it should it be.
She tells him that she hates her job and admits that she’s never told anyone before. She doesn’t know why she told him. He has her scream it. Their kayak flips over. Romantic comedy devices.
Before the wedding, she evens up his sideburns and he bores his love eyes into her face.
Don’t worry! She still doesn’t notice. You guys, what if his mom died when he was 7 and told him the same thing but Amy is his 7th?? What then?
This fake island makes for a beautiful wedding. He even says that he gave up “the city” for “the coast,” which is so vague that it cracks me up. Why don’t they want me to know where this is?
The friends tease him about the fake dates she talked about but he goes with it and they don’t realize the lies. The lady friend leans in and is all “when are you guys getting married?” He goes quickly “We’re not!” Oh god, I hated that question when I was in a long relationship. Particularly when my guy once quickly said that he wasn’t marrying me to some drunk stranger at a party who was hinting at a threesome. Thanks, buddy! Enough about me though…
Oh no, he takes the story to a bad place. He says that her dad is suspicious of him but that her mom loves him. She looks very sad but doesn’t say anything. As soon as they’re alone he asks if she’s okay. What happened here is that she felt an emotion and he, being a human being, noticed and then tried to make her feel better. She should be taking notes.
They dance and he’s very sweet and tells her that she looks just like her mom (he saw photos before). She looks like she’s going to cry on his shoulder.
They go out to drink on the beach and it’s so pretty. He asks her how she dealt with losing her mom when she was so young. (I had to get to the bottom of this location business so I internetted- they filmed in British Columbia, and now I want to go to there.)
He tells her that it’s nice that she holds onto the dreams her mom had for her and she is so happy because everyone else thinks she’s cray cray. Amy says that she feels bad for lying to his friends now that she likes them and that they could stage a fight or something so they’re not shocked when it doesn’t last.
Him: “Who says we won’t last?” She laughs and then realizes he’s serious and it’s kissing-on-the-beach time and then doing-it-in-the-hotel-room time (while the phone message light blinks behind them signaling that Daniel has called- what a dummy this woman is).
She wakes up all snuggled up to him and sees the phone blinking and tries to get out of his arms gracefully but she is super clumsy and it’s supposed to be funny and endearing. I love in movies when strangers sleep really deeply next to each other. Does that happen for people in real life? I sleep like crap in these scenarios. She calls Daniel back in the bathroom and Peter walks in because he has to pee (he looks sad).
She says that she doesn’t want to dilly dally and he’s all “I just want to take you to this place that makes amazing funnel cakes and then to something beautiful and awesome” and she’s all “you can’t just plan a whole day without telling me.” No wonder all these men are falling for her! She’s a peach.
They say goodbye to the friends (but make plans for the next month when they’ll be in town) and she tells him that she has plans and has to get going. They go for pancakes and she gets syrup on her dress and when he tries to help her she is a mega bitch to him. Is this what I’m doing wrong, fellas? Not being a mega bitch to you all the time? I can change!
He calls her on it but calls it “pushing me away” and she tells him that last night is make believe. He is pretty hurt by that bullshit. She then decides to show him the timeline that her mom made her by remaking it on her placemat under her pancakes. If she doesn’t like him why would she share this incredibly personal thing with him??
He explains to her that her mom was just giving her something to hold onto and that it was not a direct guide for life. “You should know this better than anyone, your mom died young and unexpectedly.” That is some real truth right there. She doesn’t get it though because she is so used to living this way. He asks her to take a chance on him and she cries and says no.
He then asks what happens after number 7 since the timeline ends there. She gives a look like she never considered that. Since it doesn’t say she’s having kids does that mean she doesn’t have any? She is still baffled by this very obvious observation. I have a question- what if number 7 dumps you? Does that mean you never date again? Or what if you end up not liking him after a few months, are you stuck with him forever because of the timeline?
They get back home and she’s such a jerk to him. My favorite is when she’s changing shirts and asks him to close his eyes even though he’s seen her naked.He points that out but she is pretending that never happened so it falls on deaf ears.
Because Daniel is kind of clingy (which I guess is good at this stage? What do I know?) he’s waiting for her when she gets home and thanks Peter for getting her home safely. Poor Peter.
This movie has pulled off the impossible! Made me like Patrick Dempsey.
Amy walks right into a dinner with Daniel and her friends. Just what I want to do after a weekend away. She’s also wearing Peter’s shirt which isn’t awkward at all. Daniel is all “I have a surprise, I got my test results!” and she had totally forgotten about their deal. It’s clear that she’s not as smitten with him as she once was but she doesn’t let her feelings interfere with life plans so don’t worry. She also just banged another guy and didn’t get tested despite telling this guy she would- no worries, that won’t stop her either!
She makes a joke that Peter made on their date but no one thinks it’s funny because she is totally and completely lacking comic timing. Awkward glances. Her total lack of comic timing only makes men love her more though! What a minx.
Hahahahh! Daniel is romantically carrying her to the bedroom when she is all “can you just drop me by the bathroom, I’ve really gotta go.” So sexy! You must share your boudoir secrets with the rest of us ladies.
Because she continues to be the worst she literally brushes her teeth and then cleans the bathroom while he falls asleep waiting for her.
Peter drives by her place and sees Daniel’s Porsche outside (ha! he drives a porsche!) and makes a face as he keeps driving.
She wakes up and her perfect Daniel is showering. Because she apparently sprinkles all her men with dust that erases their memories, he has no idea how he fell asleep last night or what happened but he’s sure she’s still totally great.
She’s all “let’s do something crazy, let’s play hooky!” and he’s all “sounds tempting but I have work to do.” He even points out how busy she is at work. She is placing a lot of importance on him blowing off work for no real reason. He tries explaining that he’s responsible and she doesn’t care even though that is a good boyfriend trait. Also, Peter hasn’t been really spontaneous… they spent a Saturday together when they had no other plans.
Daniel: “Go to work, do what you do best!”
Amy: sighhhhhhhhs deeply because she’s angry that he can’t read her mind and know that she dislikes her job despite her never telling him how she feels
Everyone at work is putting files into her hands until she has had enough and puts them down on a desk- WITH PURPOSE and walks out.
She runs to the bagel place. She expects Peter to be there just waiting for her but he isn’t. Perplexing. Why wouldn’t he just be waiting for her to choose him? He did leave a suitcase for her to pick up that photos from the wedding are in. She cries because she has realized that she has been pretty dumb.
She calls her dad and apologizes for yelling at him two days ago. She only calls because she’s sad and wants to talk to him though so the apology is perfunctory.
Her dad tells her it will be okay because he is her dad and that is his job. This scene is kind of heartbreaking. Now that she’s had time to think she’s realized that Peter is right and the timeline is ending. She feels like her mom isn’t going to be with her anymore. Her dad tells her that the timeline was only as short as it was because her mom was sick and didn’t have the energy to write it out longer (geez, sugarcoat it a little, dad).
Amy and Daniel are at a party and she seems to feel ignored. She tells him that though she hasn’t officially resigned from the firm yet, she is about to. He’s all “are you going out on your own??” She breaks it to him that the law might not be for her. He says that a few days off was great but not to lose it completely. Uh oh, wrong answer.
Daniel introduces her to his boss as his girlfriend! It’s the office party that she envisioned for her non-important 6th boyfriend earlier. But he’s number 7. She freaks out and makes yet another crazy face.
She rudely runs away from his boss which he hates but just makes him like her even more (what a spitfire!). He says that it’s time for their relationship to become serious and she says that she is not ready for that because he’s what she wanted before but not now. Now she wants to take more risks and grow with someone. “We’ve never even held hands.” They’ve been dating for like two weeks, you guys. Lordy, she is what guys are talking about when they’re talking about crazy women who frustrate them but whom they also can’t seem to stop dating.
And with that she breaks free of her mom’s timeline. Except that she goes home and puts on her camp shirt and her class president button and looks at the timeline.
Amy wakes up and remembers when she was at that wedding with Peter they made plans to see his friends in Seattle when they were in town (mystery solved- this is supposedly taking place in Seattle!). She is hot on the case and hopes the plans haven’t changed.
Hahahahah, she’s the craziest crazy in crazy town!! She runs into tea all “hey guys, Peter should be here any minute!” like they’re a couple.
They look at her pityingly and are all “he told us you were never a couple.” She doesn’t miss a beat though because that’s what someone with shame would do. They tell her that Peter has “gone back to the island” whatever that means. The wedding island?
She hops a ferry and takes off. She runs through the restaurant they had pancakes at frantically but doesn’t see him so she orders tea and a chocolate tart.
Suddenly, Peter is behind her all “I’ll have what she’s having.” Why is he here? Is this the only place on this island?
He seems totally unsurprised to see her and unsurprised when she says she has quit her job. He just kisses her a lot. Fair enough. That’s not a bad reaction.
She’s in a veil with pajamas for the ending scene so I assume they got married in her bed. The end.