Oooh, a movie about rich kids at an Ivy League University who think someone is implicating them in a murder so they plot to murder her. That’ll show her who the murderer is! Oh wait, that would make them definitely guilty of at least one murder and also probably more implicated in the first one. What could go wrong?
IMDB says that people who like this also enjoyed “The Bride He Bought Online.” Yikes.
What’s the deal with that promo poster? Is there going to be an Eyes Wide Shut style illuminati party in this movie? I HOPE SO.
It opens with some girl singing with a piano track and a montage of rich kids being rich- getting their hair brushed, rowing boats, doing ballet, posing for magazine spreads (wait, hair brushed?), more rowing, more ballet, people giving them dirty looks.
The girl singing is doing an audition and they thank her for her time and she’s super desperate all “I was up all night practicing!” and begging for more time and then straight up says “I’m not going to hear from you, right?” with attitude on the way out. Well, if you were, you’re not going to hear shit now.
This girl sucks so badly and is incredible entitled. You can’t act like this at auditions and this is apparently for a Broadway musical. The guy tells her her rich fiance called in a favor to get her an audition in the first place and that puts her in her place. She leaves in a huff.
Cut to some really loud party in a non-descript building where she’s asking if anyone has seen her fiance. A blonde girl asks another blonde girl where she got her cool dress and she got it at Bendel’s when her parents came into the city (so far it’s heavily implied that they’re in NYC but don’t fall for that- it’s a lie!). First blonde says that she’ll have to check it out and second blonde is all “I’m only saying this as your friend but I don’t think they carry your size” and the snickers with the people around her.
Um, the first girl is like a size 6/8 maybe? What department store only carries under size 8? They’re doing that thing I hate- casting a totally thin person and then having everyone mock them for being overweight. Sigh. She throws her drink on her “friend” and walks off.
Some bland guys chat about something that might be important over the thump of very boring rave music. One says he needs a favor and the other says fine and walks off. WHATTA SCENE!
Some brunette is walking around and she asks for Will Lasalle and this dude says he doesn’t know him but he’s right here if she wants to have sex with him. She rolls her eyes. He offers her K and she says she doesn’t have any money so he just gives her some but apparently he’s a drug dealer so that seems bad for business.
Oh wait, the guy upstairs is Will Lasalle and the favor he must have implied to his friend was to make this girl go away but she sees him and goes to find him. Her name is Heidi and she took that K.
The blonde from the audition is texting on her iPad at the party which is as cool as taking photos on your iPad at a party. I think her fiancé might be this Will guy.
Heidi is arguing with Will on the roof and he’s being a total asshole until she says she’s going to talk to Camille (the blonde from the audition) and let her know what her douchebag fiance is up to.
He gets really angry and his friends surround her telling her she can’t do that and the movie implies that she’s too close to the ledge that also has CAUTION tape around it. FORESHADOWING. Her friend, another brunette, happens to be down on the sidewalk with her camera.
Camille is on the roof, as the voice of reason, and says they’re all wasted and offers to walk Heidi home so these two girls clearly know each other. Heidi goes to leave but trips backwards and falls right through the roof guardrail like it’s made of paper. She’s dead. Everyone gasps.
Okay, so they actually didn’t kill this girl despite being totally shitty to her and this guy sucking. It was a legitimate accident. I’m curious why they plot to murder someone over this.
Camille wakes up in a big fabric bed and Will is putting in his contacts because it looks like his eyes are crazy- he calls it “a birth defect” and says you don’t book jobs with those eyes so he puts in contacts that look like regular eyes.
These so-called college students live like 40 year olds.
She is still upset about her friend dying last night but she’s also confused as to why Heidi showed up at this party at all. He skirts the question and they leave for class. Oh, and she asks if he loves her and he says “I chose you, didn’t I?” which is not an answer.
Now they’re in a class of 6 people who also seem somewhere between 30 and 40. The brunette with the camera is in the class. The teacher wants them to talk about how one of their classmates died last night. One thinks they should have closed school today but another guy says they shouldn’t care about some drunk girl killing herself and the teacher reminds them that the police aren’t calling this suicide. Some girl in the class says she sat next to this girl every day in chemistry (what college is this supposed to be?? High school college?) and yet she realizes she doesn’t know her name…
The camera brunette asks the teacher want constitutes an accident and then says a lot of things that happened last night while Will wiggles uncomfortably in his seat. The teacher asks if she knows something and she’s all “nope! Just asking!” Class ends and Camille and Will chase her down the hallway.
Will grabs her arm and pulls her into a side room. Her name is Lisa. Lisa says “you know what you did to her!” to Will and then can’t believe Camille is lying for him but Camille says she saw it and that she did fall and it was an accident. Lisa has photographs that tell a different story. Will offers her money for them and she storms off. Camille- “what the hell was that?”
Camille has to be wondering what Will is hiding at this point? Also, they didn’t do it so what kind of magic photographs did she take?
Some of these people are in other things I’ve watched. Camille is on Nashville and was in Spy Kids when she was a kid. Her name is not Alexa Vega anymore, it’s Alexa PenaVega and it’s weird seeing her with blonde hair and looking like a 40 year old society wife. The one I think we’re supposed to think is fat is the girl from 13 Going on 30 who was actually 13 and befriends Jennifer Garner (and she’s in the Bling Ring etc…). Will was on Awkward.
They hang out outside a very not fancy looking New England home while they talk about not wanting to go to prison and Will says that Lisa probably doesn’t even have photos. Camille doesn’t understand why he wouldn’t just let her talk to them and tell them what she’s upset about.
In a nod to Heathers, they play croquette. Will brings up paying her off again and some other guy (the drug dealer from the party) says they should just kill her too. Will is all “hmmmm, that’s interesting” and the dude says he didn’t mean that, he was just joking. He says that no one would care if Lisa disappeared and that people are already getting over Heidi. Rick (the brunette guy who isn’t Will) starts to come around to this. Camille is horrified! They can’t kill someone! Will says that people only get caught because they want the fame of being on tv as a murderer and that it’s easy to hide it if you don’t want that. Okay, dude. Their “chubby” friend starts to come around because even if Heidi is deemed an accident they’ll be connected to it if they’re questioned. What? These people are idiots. Someone rent them “Shallow Grave” stat!
Camille says she’ll go talk to Lisa and see what’s going on and what photos she has. Will is clearly already killing this girl in his mind.
Camille just walks into the dark room while Lisa is printing her photos from the night her friend died and starts talking to her.
Lisa is startled and then angry. She leaves and takes her drying prints with her.
Camille and Annabelle (the not chubby, chubby one) go meet Lisa during lunch and Lisa jokes “is this where you offer to give me a makeover in return for not turning you in?” and Annabelle gets the joke of the movie with “god no, this isn’t the 90s.”
Camille thinks Lisa doesn’t really give a shit because she hasn’t taken her photos to the police yet (GOOD POINT) and at this point she’s in just as much trouble as them for withholding info from the police. They bring up some financial aid issue Lisa (because she’s poor and not rich like them) is having and she’s all “how did you know that?” and they tell her they’re going to be one step ahead of her from now on.
Annabelle zings again with “you’re the Britney and she’s the Madonna.” Lisa seems to get it and looks worried.
She goes to some dark pier with her photos under her arm (is there not a memory card somewhere? What year is this?) and gets in Camille’s car.
Then they’re in a library at some rich person house while she makes fun of them all and calls Camille a gold digger.
As she does that Camille looks like she could be Lisa’s mom- what college students look like this?? They cut to a wide shot and this library is really small for this group. They seem to have a hard time finding actual fancy places to film in.
Lisa says that Heidi was her only friend and they’re all “yeah, duh, you’re no fun, of course you don’t have friends.” Lisa asks for 4 million dollars from them and hahahahahahahahhahaha. Even Will says he doesn’t just have 4 million dollars. Lisa says she has sat up an account that they can put money into and they seem to agree to do it. Are they going to venmo her a cool 4 mil? Will says he just doesn’t believe she’ll disappear so he won’t be letting her leave here tonight.
Full credit to this movie- as he says that the scene turns really scary as she realizes she’s about to be murdered and starts trying to escape from this house. It is pretty effective.
As she’s running around the film gets more wonky because someone drugged her and the drugs are kicking in. Camille and Annabelle don’t seem totally shocked so they must have known that murder was the agenda tonight. They didn’t know drugging was though because that shocked them.
They’ve watched Dexter before so they lay her on some plastic but it’s just one skinny sheet of plastic in a big room so they didn’t do it correctly. She’s also not dead.
Oh, they want Camille to kill her. She’s all “you dragged me into this and now you expect me to do this????” and then 2 beats later she says “oh fine” and literally kills Lisa by suffocating her in plastic like it’s nothing.
Annabelle looks shaken up but Camille starts barking orders about things she needs to do and Will is all “just listen to her!” when she doesn’t want to go. Camille is ice cold and no one is surprised by this.
Will tears up some wood floors in what appears to be a basement and digs out dirt from under the floor to bury her presumably. Annabelle and Rick go through her dorm room and take her computer and make it look like she left in a hurry. Annabelle loves Forensics Files so she’s excited to get a chance to do this! They grab some stuff and her computer and leave.
Will hammers wood beams over her face but doesn’t bother covering her with dirt. Won’t this basement just reek of decaying corpse starting soon and for a long time?
They’re all in robes now so I guess they all showered in some group shower scene they edited out.
Will burns the photos in the fireplace. It’s 2015, it seems weird to think these prints are the only photos or that these supposedly college aged people would be dealing in prints…
Camille grabs her tablet and says “I’m sending her out of town” and no one asks what that means.
Alright, that’s all done. Time for bed! Whose house is this? Where are they? They all sleep here?
Annabelle looks at Lisa’s tablet and feels bad. Rick takes a hot shower and still looks like he’s in shock.
Meanwhile, Camille wakes up and hovers over Will and then goes down to the basement and caresses the wood floor over her fresh kill.
Rick runs to a school building and goes into the locker room late. At home (?) Will goes into the library and pours some scotch and then lights a fire and talks to a painting of his dad that’s on the wall. Then he starts up a little homemade sex tape he made with Heidi that he knows so well that he says all the words along with the tape like I do when I watch Dirty Dancing (except when he does it it’s much, much grosser).
At the gym Rick is doing a rowing machine while the coach screams at him for being terrible at rowing.
Is this how crew works? You just practice on a rowing machine in a gym? The coach lectures him on partying and being part of a shitty generation who gets away with everything.
Annabelle is getting ready for ballet and Rick asks how she is. SHE DOES BALLET AT A COLLEGE AND WE’RE SUPPOSED TO THINK SHE’S FAT?! Rick is clearly still horrified and Annabelle tries to zap some sense into him and says that soon enough they’re forget this ever happened. As they’re walking away, in the school building, the girl who called Annabelle fat before is behind a column clearly eavesdropping.
At home Rick is unraveling.
Rick opens up his safe full of drugs and when he’s looking for something to take he realizes that Lisa’s camera is in his safe and he freaks out.
Will’s class is over (Camille was in this class before but she’s not there now) and a detective comes in and asks the teacher which one Will is but Will has already hightailed it out of there.
He summons their murder crew and they meet at Will’s where a weirdly teenaged butler sets out tea sandwiches while they sit there in silence.
I guess they buried the camera with her so how did this happen?? Who was in his room? Who knows how to get into his safe? They all sit there because none of them did it. They get into a very snippy fight with each other instead and Annabelle is called bulimic and then runs out, pissed. The Will threatens to out Rick to the row team and his Senator father and Rick leaves, pissed. Camille asks Will if he did it and he says no but that he doesn’t trust them at all. She’s worried that someone else might know… Will tells her not to stress it. Yeah, calm down, murderer. Stop stressing!
Will is in the basement jumping up and down on the floor and also peeking through the floorboards with a flashlight.
Rick eats a salad that is 99% iceberg lettuce. Camille asks him if he’s okay and if he wants to go to the police and get this over with.
Rick (rightly) thinks Will sent her there to check up on him. She says she doesn’t always agree with Will and that he can trust her. As she’s leaving he tells her that Will probably has something on her too so she should be careful.
This gets her thinking so when Will goes to sleep she tries to break into his dad’s desk but that doesn’t work so she starts looking at the computer but there is a thump in the ceiling. While she’s staring at the ceiling Will walks up and shuts the computer. She lies and says that she was emailing the party planner about the wedding stuff and he says there is no budget, just throw a night to remember! He’s so cool and easy breezy.
Then he accuses her of staring at his milky eye and reminds her that her life is great because of him and to be grateful and not look at him like a circus freak while shaking her! She gets away from him.
A detective talks to Will on a boat and I guess they live on an island or go to school on one or something. The detective asks if he knows Lisa and he’s all “who?” and given that they had tons of classes together this seems like a stupid answer. He can say it’s some girl from class that he doesn’t really know. Saying this make no sense. The detective says that this is really surprising given that he was seeing her roommate.
This shocks him! Turns out Annabelle should have told him how this works on Forensics Files- the police can get your texts and then read them. TAH-DAH! He’s friggin shocked and angry. He casually says that she was supposed to erase them and the cop is all “and she died on the night she was telling you she was pregnant.” Oooh, that’s a nicely dropped bomb. Will starts to lose his mind but thinks he’s playing it very cool. He asks the detective to please not say anything to anyone since he’s marrying someone else and all and the detective laughs that he doesn’t want to mess anything up for him (sure sure).
He runs off the boat as soon as he’s free to call Camille and warn her that a detective wants to talk to her but she answers the door before he can say much. Don’t worry though, he has a hidden camera in her bedroom that he watches her on so he opens that up and sees what she tells the detective.
She says that she did have classes with Lisa (smarter answer) and she saw her when she was out last week but didn’t talk to her, why? Will gets super pissed while watching this even though he’s the one who answered badly, she did a good job.
Will calls Rick to warn him and turns out Rick was talked to first and is pissed about it. Will says not to do anything stupid but Rick reminds him that it’s too late for that.
Back at Rick’s he’s trying to sleep but now muddy footprints are in the hall leading to his door. He’s being Tell-Tale Hearted. He continues to unravel.
In class, Camille is just on her phone and spacing out. It’s her turn to do a presentation (that is on cyberbullying, haha) but when she hooks up her laptop to the projector she stupidly opens an email that turns out to be one of those incriminating photos from the night Heidi died and it’s on the projector.
She unplugs the computer frantically.
The mean(er) blonde at ballet congratulates Annabelle on being less fat now but lets her know that she knows her secrets and then smiles and trots off. She gets some flowers or something that stress her out before the ballet rehearsal.
Holy crap, the ballet happening in this scene is worse than the ballet in all those Flowers in the Attic movies.
Annabelle freaks out crying during rehearsal and runs off the stage. This is when the detective finds her to chat. Good timing, detective!
Annabelle is at Will’s crying about how badly that went and Will says they just have to stick to their story about not knowing Lisa and never speaking to her (what? When was that the story?) and she says she did.
Then he asks Camille and she says that she says she told them she didn’t know Lisa (true) but he glares at her and asks if she’s sure about that. She says she is but he gives her the stinky milk eye.
They ask Annabelle for Lisa’s tablet and she admits that she put it under her bed and now it’s missing. Camille freaks out and somehow Will thinks he’s the one who will keep everything calm. Good one, Will.
Rick gets to a crew meet and all these cops are there and he hears they’re doing drug checks in lockers. He, as a drug dealer, is concerned so he kneels down and secretly takes a bunch of drugs so they can’t find them but then he has to go into the bathroom and barf them up so he doesn’t die. The cops don’t notice all of this somehow.
Then he does his meet. He’s rowing so much and then he collapses and falls out of the boat and another oar hits him on the head and as we head to commercial he might be dead.
Back from commercial they have Annabelle in this really lame looking fake fur that is supposed to make use believe she’s rich but it’s having the opposite effect.
She tells them that Rick’s mom says things are not looking good and he may never wake up.
Camille says this has gone too far and maybe they should just come clean. It’s weird that she should say that when she’s the one who so coldly suffocated an innocent person a few days ago. Will is all THAT IS NOT AN OPTION!
Annabelle thinks Rick is right and that someone is onto them because she got a note on one of Lisa’s pictures back stage- Camille doesn’t mention the photo she got in that email in class… hmmm. They talk about what a gossip Poppy (that meaner Blonde) is but she’ll be at the masquerade so they can talk to her there. Annabelle thinks he can’t be having his stupid masquerade ball when all of this is happening but Camille thinks that if they cancel now that the detective will really be onto them.
Then Camille totally does a 180 and says that they should stick to this, not say anything and that Rick will be fine and then she runs away. What?
Oh wait, I guess this is the party she lied about planning before. Not their wedding! My mistake.
Rick gets to a modeling gig (haha) and walks in like he’s the king of the world until he realizes his real eye contact is missing and he losing his shit like a toddler throwing a tantrum. Like, actually throwing things and freaking out. The photographer tells him to just calm down, he doesn’t need to see for this shoot. He doesn’t get that his eyes are all messed up until he takes Will’s sunglasses off and is all “eek, you’re gross” but not in words, in his grimace. Will leaves.
Will gets home and his dad is there to lecture him on how much of a mess he is. His dad is JOHN HEARD and he looks so terrible that it took this whole scene for me to figure it out.
I love John heard! He tells Will that detectives have been talking to them about his connection to a dead girl and a missing girl and then there is the fiance they don’t like and him thinking he’s a model (haha)- they need him to get it together or they’re cutting him off. John Heard takes off because he doesn’t even want to spend 5 more minutes with his son and I don’t really blame him.
Everyone is getting dressed for the masquerade ball.
All the people working it seem to wear white masks, white shirts and a red hood thingy. As Annabelle is walking in she gets a text that she’s been tagged at the Masquerade ball by Lisa. Scary.
This house is made of stucco with a fake marble banister- it’s sad how not fancy this location is. The detective is on the roof and arrogant Will is all “I don’t remember putting you on the guest list.” The Detective asks if Lisa was on the list since she checked in here and everything. Will is confused. He says to get his friends together to talk to him.
The Detective notices that Rick is missing and Annabelle says there has been an accident- he says it seems in poor taste to have a party like this when your friend might be dying. “Rick loved a good party!” Will exlaims. He also says Rick has always had a drug problem so no one is shocked that he ODed but I guess that’s not true so Will should really never speak to the cops.
The detective says that their stories don’t match up and something is fishy here. Annabelle starts to lose it but covers and says it’s because she’s worried about Rick. Camille says he should go find Lisa since she is at this party and he leaves to go do that I guess?
Camille chooses now to let Rick know that she knows about how often he cheats on her both with the “pity lays” he throws Annabelle’s way but also apparently Heidi. Will says she stays because she likes his money and power but seemingly she lives on her own and is also rich so I don’t know why he keeps saying that.
Camille tells Annabelle that they could team up right now and tell the Detective that Will did everything and Will says they won’t. He also says he has photos he can show the detective that make them look guilty so I guess he was the one who emailed her? She’s not shocked. She does punch him in the face however. I hope she dented his milky eye.
Will is at the party, putting champagne on his shiner. He sees Poppy arrive and he corners her in the bathroom just to find out that the secret she knows is that Annabelle may have gotten a tummy tuck at some point. Boring. Will leaves.
Some weird Pride and Prejudice style dance starts and a stranger is dancing with Will but it’s heavily implied to be Lisa.
He runs around and chases her when she leaves. They end up in the basement and Camille is somehow in there too. Then Annabelle. They decide to dig up Lisa to make sure that they didn’t bury her alive. Even if they did how did she get out? Also, didn’t Will see her when he was shining his flashlight through the floorboards?
Anyway, they dig up the wood planks and there is definitely no body in there and none of her stuff either. I can’t wait to hear the explanation of this one.
Annabelle is so freaked out and just wants to come clean and take some more shots.
They get all these texts about transferring her the money but Will still doesn’t want to do that. Had he just done that originally they wouldn’t be in this boat. Anyway, Camille talks him into it and he’s halfway through transferring via the password she sent when Annabelle runs out and Will leaves to chase her. Camille has his phone now.
There is a projector projecting scary movies on the outside of the house but then it starts projecting the Heidi sex tape but now it has audio even though it never did before.
Will chases down Annabelle and she’s screaming so everyone at the party stops to see what’s going on when she breaks free from him and falls down the middle of the staircase and dies is front of Camille.
As they arrest Will he begs Camille to tell the police it was all an accident and she tells him that he can’t get away with everything and thanks him for all he did for her as she gives him his phone back.
Okay, I get it and this is actually a pretty great ending. I only pieced it together when she had Will’s phone in her hand and looked sneaky.
She knew Will would never pay so she told Lisa and she is the one who drugged Lisa so she could dig her up and wake her up later and end up getting more money. Lisa isn’t dead and the detective is some actor she hired an Will puts this all together while he’s freaking out in the police car telling them the whole story and the cops are really confused. They’ve definitely never heard of that detective.
Lisa tells Camille that this ended really well for her except that two of her friends might be dead and all and her fiance is in jail for murder. Camille says it’s great for both of them and then goes to see the press which she greets like they’re adoring fans.
Then she walks into a broadway audition with pride because now she’s famous from this whole thing and not from having a rich fiance.
Weirdly, the movie ends dedicated to a girl who died when she was 9 years old.
Can you imagine being the actor she hired to be the detective? What must he think when the guy is actually arrested for murder? He knows a lot of dirt on these kids. Call him to the stand!